Monday-08:00
Right okay have arrived at my school I am (hopefully)
teaching at today. Yes, the secretary has just confirmed that I am pencilled in
but there is no sight of any teaching staff or the head teacher. Hmm.
Decided
to take a ‘pro-active’ approach and have a little wander around the school for
myself to see if I can find anyone. Right they are all in a meeting. Decided to
knock on the door! Deep breath!
Me: ‘Apologies to interrupt but am I supposed to be here
today?’
Entire Staff: Cold Stare
Head Teacher: Emm yes, I think so just wait downstairs
please
Me: About to implode with cringe and panic but do as I am
told.
08:30
Head Teacher finally appears.
‘Right, we didn’t actually need anyone till Thursday but we
can slot you into our P6 class to give the teacher some cover’
*Excellent, as if I wasn’t feeling random enough but yay
brilliant.*
08.40
Class Teacher: ‘Here is the plan, the kids are coming in, in
10 minutes, they are absolutely fine, nothing to worry about, apart from 2 boys
that might shout out!
I can do this! *Walks confidently down to collect class*
08.50
Opens door to a sea of children, hang on which class is it I need to get?? Finally, have located class when a child
shouts out- ‘Are you teaching us today, Eh?’ Yes, that would be me.
09.00
The class settle down to do some morning maths activities all
is under control, well apart from a boy who keeps trying to escape and another
who is shouting obscenities.
09.50
We are following the Joe Wicks Youtube fitness channel this
week so we pushed back some tables to get started. So far so good; until a
child gets his finger stuck between two tables.
All is still well. I
decided to ‘get down with the kids’ and take part in the exercises to the
disgust and embarrassment of a few girls in the class. What’s a little gentle
humiliation to get through the day?Yes I am being mocked by 10 year olds.
10.45- Breaktime.
Thank God
11.00
I decided to go for a punchy advertising lesson after break to
try to really engage this age group.
Oh my actual word it is working, they are all listening even
the boy who was desperately attempting to escape the class earlier. I am on
fire!
Split the class into
groups to come up with their own radio adverts. A few suggestions…
‘Miss, can we do Gucci.’ Yes, okay.
‘Miss, can I do Fortnite’. I don’t
approve of this violent game but if it means you will actually sit down and get
on with it, fine.
12.15- Class starting to bubble, come on I can make it till lunch.
Me: ‘If you’re finished go and
get a book’
Class: There is no library
Me: ‘Okay, well go and get some
paper and draw’
Class: We don’t have any paper.
Me: Come on lunchtime!!
12:30 Lunchtime- Thank God, just an afternoon left! Right, now to
face the staffroom. Is it really sad if I just eat my lunch in the classroom?
No, I’m going to enter
The Staffroom
Right, okay everyone is sitting
in a nice circle…where to sit? Have found a nice, safe seat in the corner,
suitable for someone of my lower station.
I must not overstep any pecking
order.
Everyone is actually lovely and
very welcoming towards me.
I begin to even feel comfortable
and start to chime in on a conversation about transgender children. A few
surprised glances. Okay, rein it back in Lynn and just eat your lunch!
13:30
Right, the final slot I can do
this! A few children come back in after lunch a bit upset.
‘Miss, he called me a b**%h’
‘Well, she called me a c&**
and is going to get her cousin to batter me’
Right, okay guys time to calm
down and I will get the head teacher to come and speak to you later
We start to read Wonder. All I
can say is thank the Lord for this wonderful novel. It evoked so much empathy
from the entire class and I have to say I did feel all warm inside to see everyone
lying down and really engaging with the novel.
13:50
Back to our desks to do some
spelling work. The magic of Wonder had worn off and the two children who had
been at each other’s throats earlier were at it again, this time with even more
creative insults. Okay, breathe you just need to keep things under control till
15.10! You can do this!
14:30
‘Miss, this is boring, when can
we start our Diamond Time?’
Me: In fifteen minutes, just keep
going, you’re nearly finished. *Seriously, when can they start their Diamond
Time and what is Diamond Time?*
Ask a sensible boy in the corner
what Diamond Time is, all is well again.
14.45
Diamond Time starts (A period
where the class can choose what they would like to do)
‘Miss, she is still saying that
she is going to get her cousin to batter me?’
Right, starts to panic a little,
I’m not sure what the protocol is when someone threatens someone with a
battering but I’m going to send the two of you down to the head teacher to see
if you guys can figure this out.
15.10
On my knees but it is home time. A
girl comes up and throws her arms around me. 'Miss, are you taking us again
tomorrow?’ ....
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