The Secret Diary of a Supply Teacher

Monday-08:00

Right okay have arrived at my school I am (hopefully) teaching at today. Yes, the secretary has just confirmed that I am pencilled in but there is no sight of any teaching staff or the head teacher. Hmm. 

Decided to take a ‘pro-active’ approach and have a little wander around the school for myself to see if I can find anyone. Right they are all in a meeting. Decided to knock on the door! Deep breath!

Me: ‘Apologies to interrupt but am I supposed to be here today?’

Entire Staff: Cold Stare

Head Teacher: Emm yes, I think so just wait downstairs please

Me: About to implode with cringe and panic but do as I am told.

08:30

Head Teacher finally appears.

‘Right, we didn’t actually need anyone till Thursday but we can slot you into our P6 class to give the teacher some cover’

*Excellent, as if I wasn’t feeling random enough but yay brilliant.*

08.40

Class Teacher: ‘Here is the plan, the kids are coming in, in 10 minutes, they are absolutely fine, nothing to worry about, apart from 2 boys that might shout out!

I can do this! *Walks confidently down to collect class*

08.50

Opens door to a sea of children, hang on which class is it I need to get??  Finally, have located class when a child shouts out- ‘Are you teaching us today, Eh?’  Yes, that would be me.

09.00

The class settle down to do some morning maths activities all is under control, well apart from a boy who keeps trying to escape and another who is shouting obscenities.

09.50

We are following the Joe Wicks Youtube fitness channel this week so we pushed back some tables to get started. So far so good; until a child gets his finger stuck between two tables.

All is still well. I decided to ‘get down with the kids’ and take part in the exercises to the disgust and embarrassment of a few girls in the class. What’s a little gentle humiliation to get through the day?Yes I am being mocked by 10 year olds.

10.45- Breaktime. Thank God

11.00

I decided to go for a punchy advertising lesson after break to try to really engage this age group.

Oh my actual word it is working, they are all listening even the boy who was desperately attempting to escape the class earlier. I am on fire!

Split the class into groups to come up with their own radio adverts. A few suggestions…

‘Miss, can we do Gucci.’  Yes, okay.

‘Miss, can I do Fortnite’. I don’t approve of this violent game but if it means you will actually sit down and get on with it, fine.

12.15- Class starting to bubble, come on I can make it till lunch.

Me: ‘If you’re finished go and get a book’

Class: There is no library

Me: ‘Okay, well go and get some paper and draw’

Class: We don’t have any paper.

Me: Come on lunchtime!!

12:30 Lunchtime- Thank God, just an afternoon left! Right, now to face the staffroom. Is it really sad if I just eat my lunch in the classroom? No, I’m going to enter

The Staffroom

Right, okay everyone is sitting in a nice circle…where to sit? Have found a nice, safe seat in the corner, suitable for someone of my lower station.

I must not overstep any pecking order.

Everyone is actually lovely and very welcoming towards me.

I begin to even feel comfortable and start to chime in on a conversation about transgender children. A few surprised glances. Okay, rein it back in Lynn and just eat your lunch!

13:30

Right, the final slot I can do this! A few children come back in after lunch a bit upset.

‘Miss, he called me a b**%h’

‘Well, she called me a c&** and is going to get her cousin to batter me’

Right, okay guys time to calm down and I will get the head teacher to come and speak to you later

We start to read Wonder. All I can say is thank the Lord for this wonderful novel. It evoked so much empathy from the entire class and I have to say I did feel all warm inside to see everyone lying down and really engaging with the novel.

13:50

Back to our desks to do some spelling work. The magic of Wonder had worn off and the two children who had been at each other’s throats earlier were at it again, this time with even more creative insults. Okay, breathe you just need to keep things under control till 15.10! You can do this!

14:30

‘Miss, this is boring, when can we start our Diamond Time?’

Me: In fifteen minutes, just keep going, you’re nearly finished. *Seriously, when can they start their Diamond Time and what is Diamond Time?*

Ask a sensible boy in the corner what Diamond Time is, all is well again.

14.45

Diamond Time starts (A period where the class can choose what they would like to do)

‘Miss, she is still saying that she is going to get her cousin to batter me?’

Right, starts to panic a little, I’m not sure what the protocol is when someone threatens someone with a battering but I’m going to send the two of you down to the head teacher to see if you guys can figure this out. 

15.10

On my knees but it is home time. A girl comes up and throws her arms around me. 'Miss, are you taking us again tomorrow?’ ....

Pussy Riot: Riot Days

In an era of Trump, Brexit and a growing right wing movement the world has become more politically charged than ever. With the continuing spread of globalisation the faces of Putin and Kim Jong-Un are plastered over our newspapers every day and while we attempt to understand and follow their politics, we are quite removed from them in our society.

That is why tonight after witnessing Pussy Riot’s Edinburgh Fringe show I felt an overwhelming urge to run home and write this article. Pussy Riot is a notorious feminist punk group from Russia, famous for their fight for LGBT rights, feminism and their opposing views against Vladimir Putin. The group gained global notoriety when five members of the group staged a performance inside Moscow's Cathedral of Christ the Savior on February 21, 2012. The women said their protest was directed at the Orthodox Church leaders' support for Putin during his election campaign. Three of the members including Maria Alyokhina who performed tonight were imprisoned for 2 years as their actions were considered sacrilegious.

Tonight audience members were treated to a musical performance by 4 members of the group accompanied by multimedia images in the background which acted as a narrative to ‘Riot Days’ a play written by Maria Alyokhina which tracks her political journey from before her arrest till after she was set free. The group performed in Russian with English subtitles projected onto the screen behind them. I think for everyone tonight it was an exhilarating experience to be up close and personal with real revolutionaries who could provide us with a link to a culture so alien to our own. With the Edinburgh Fringe being the largest arts festival in the world I felt there was no place more appropriate for the group to share their vision than on a stage that helped the audience enter into and explore the unknown.

Nastya Awott rocked a Marla from Fight Club look with her spiked hair and sunglasses, wowing us with her saxophone skills while Kiryl Masheka got the crowd going with his stellar dance moves and rapping skills. For me it was Maria Alyokhina who stole the show. After breaking a travel ban placed on her and smuggling herself out of Russia to come and perform at the Fringe and also to speak about her book at the Book Festival, she commanded the stage with such vigour, showing the world just how powerful a woman can be.

Tonight I will always remember as a once in a lifetime opportunity where I had the privilege to connect with the unknown and feel part of a real revolution. I left the show feeling proud to be a woman and an increasing urge to better myself and educate myself further about the world around me.

Five Reasons to take up a Dance Class

Two years ago I started my first adult ballet lesson. I signed up for the term on a whim thinking it would be fun to try something new. Two years later, I now take three dance classes a week including a jazz class. I’m not sure what makes dancing so appealing to me; whether it’s the release of happy endorphins or if it gives me an outlet to express myself or if it’s a skill that you can build upon but I can certainly say I’m addicted and I’m not the only one. Some of my fellow dance friends do up to 7 classes a week!  I do believe though that dancing has helped give me the confidence to make the decision to follow my passion and apply for my Masters in Journalism.

I thought I would write this article to help spread the joy. Here are my top five reasons to take up an adult dance class.

1.       Mindfulness

No matter how much is going on in your head whether its work stress or financial worries, when you are in the class all of these thoughts immediately diminish as your mind is now focused on remembering new choreography and there is no time to think about anything else. It is both a mental and physical workout and it enables you to be in that moment for the duration of the class. It definitely has improved my mental, as well as my physical health since starting.

2.       A New Skill

Unlike going to the gym or taking an exercise class you are learning a new skill that you can build upon and improve. Over the last two years my co-ordination has improved immensely and my muscle memory is so much stronger. It’s a very satisfying form of exercise.

3.     New Friends

It’s a great way to meet like-minded people. I have made many good friends through dancing and have met so many interesting people with different careers and interests and I have learnt a lot from them. 

4.       Cultural Enrichment

It is one of the most educational forms of exercise as you are constantly learning new repertoires and gaining an understanding of different ballets and styles of dance. My taste in theatre and performance has changed since I started dancing as I have experienced new genres.

5.     Confidence

It is a great way to develop self-confidence. All adult dance classes follow the same ethos-enjoyment over perfection. You are not expected to be the next Darcey Bussell and no one is judging you for making mistakes. It is very empowering to be in a supportive environment that helps you to build up your skills at your own pace.

So if you are on the fence about starting a dance class or even just trying something new I hope this helps inspire you like it has inspired me.

The Shape of Water Review

This is definitely a film you need to see for yourself to understand its power and spellbinding beauty. From the tag line it sounds more like some strange sci fi porn-mute woman falls in love with an amphibian man. This in fact does happen but Guillermo del Toro manages to craft this story into a magical, unconventional, timeless fable.

Set in the early 1960’s during the time of the Cold War and the Space Race, a top secret scientific lab in Baltimore is delivered with a mysterious sea creature from the Amazon to be used for experimentation. The experiments are overseen by a cruel government official Richard Strickland (Michael Shannon) who believes the creature should be picked apart to discover its secrets in order to have one over on the Russians.

Elisa Esposito (Sally Hawkins) a mute cleaning lady in charge of cleaning the lab in which the creature is being held is horrified to witness the brutality and violence Strickland is using towards it. Curious about the creature Elisa begins to form a connection with it/him by giving him hard boiled eggs and playing music-some welcome respite from the daily torture that he/it must endure. Their connection grows from sympathy to romance as Elisa discovers they have more in common than she had imagined, as she beautifully puts it ‘He does not know that I am incomplete’.

Elisa’s gentle nature extends beyond the lab as she is a trusted friend to her lonely closeted gay neighbour Giles (Richard Jenkins) and her fellow African American co-worker Zelda (Octavia Spencer)-a listening ear to two members from marginalised groups at the time.

‘The Other’ is a major theme in this film and Del Toro draws parallels between the 60’s and the political climate in the States today. Strickland makes a powerful speech stating the sea creature was not born in the form of Jesus and therefore does not deserve to exist the way everyone else does. Del Toro also highlights how ignorance breeds fear and characters are divided between those who sympathise with the creature and those who want to destroy it.

This thought provoking film is a sci-fi take on Beauty and the Beast. It is magical but brutal, tender but violent and it challenges its audience to see beyond convention.  In the final mesmerising narrated scene of Elisa and her amphibian lover dancing in the water I was left measuring the shape of my own tears.

The Post Review

Steven Spielberg’s 'The Post' is a celebration of intelligence and the power of integrity. This film, set in 1971 is based on the true story of how The Washington Post exposed top secret government documents (that would later be known as The Pentagon Papers) revealing the shocking futility of America’s involvement in The Vietnam War and the shameful cover ups made by the White House spanning over four presidencies, from Truman up to Nixon. These documents discovered by American military analyst, Daniel Ellsberg (Matthew Rhys) paved the way for The Watergate Investigation.

Meryl Streep plays Kay Graham, socialite and owner of The Washington Post, who inherited the newspaper after her late husband’s suicide. It is lovely to see how her character develops and evolves throughout the film from being cautious and hesitant, depending on the condescending advice from her male board members to a woman with her own voice and mind prepared to risk her fortune and livelihood to reveal the truth and prioritise public interest. Tom Hanks plays short-tempered editor Ben Bradlee who from the get-go is desperate to publish the papers at any cost and encourages Kay to be bold, although he has a lot less to lose.

Although set in the early 1970’s, Spielberg draws a few parallels with our current situation today, a bullying president attempting to weaken the power of the press. Conflict of interest is a theme in this film illustrated through Kay Graham’s friendship with Robert McNamara, Secretary of Defence throughout the 1960’s and Ben Bradlee’s friendly relationship with the Kennedys. There are many nail biting moments throughout this film which makes it so thrilling to watch.

This film is historically rich and is a wonderful celebration of pioneering feminism. It is inspirational to see the teamwork and comradery amongst the journalists working together under such pressure and demonstrates the rush that comes with certain careers. This film motivated me to learn more about the history of this era and is an excellent tribute to the importance of whistleblowing and investigative journalism.

A Japanese Love Story

‘To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance’ – Oscar Wilde

A Japanese Love Story

Hiroshima-ken 2009

Kawatana was a small town. It was 20 minutes by train outside of Hiroshima and in summer mikans (satsumas) grew on the trees and cicadas sang at night. The humidity and heat attracted cockroaches and other delightful creatures and it sapped the energy out of everyone. Obachans (grandmothers) made jugs of oolong tea and sat in the shade. Women wore long sleeves and floppy hats to protect themselves from the sun. Summer was less of a celebration here than it was for Kate back home.

She cycled to work, her usual hilly route she took every day. She had grown used to the stares of the locals and had begun to enjoy her status as the local gaijin (foreigner). The change in environment and culture had woken her up to life again and had given her the lift that she had needed. She filled her days teaching English in the local high school and her evenings frequenting the local isakayas (bars) with friends and taking ikebana classes (flower arranging). Her weekends and midterms were spent exploring her new environment and places further afield.

The change in diet had allowed her to shed the extra pounds she had gained during her finals and the sun had made her skin glow again. Here she could be anyone, as anonymous and private or as intimate and personal as she wanted to be; it was her choice. It was her chance to begin again. The recent years had taken its toll on Kate. A series of disappointments, failed relationships and set-backs had knocked her confidence. She had retreated into herself and had become suspicious of other people. On her induction course when she first arrived in Tokyo she was told of this ‘Honeymoon period’ she was going to experience but then culture shock would set in and she would have high highs and low lows. For her however the change in culture had shocked her body and mind into a better place and helped her to get back to herself.

Back home she had never taken an interest in languages, or fitness and couldn’t afford to travel. Here opportunity presented itself to her on a golden platter. She began to nourish her mind and body in a way that didn’t feel possible before. She now had things to say for herself, interests and experiences to share. She had branched out. Away from former negativity and other factors that had crippled her ability to blossom. Inspiration returned to her, she met new people with confidence and she managed to shake off the weight that was holding her down. What was possibly the scariest decision of her life had turned out to be the right one.

And this was just the beginning. 

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri Review

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri is a dark tragicomedy written and directed by British-Irish writer/ director Martin McDonagh. It is set in the fictional small town of Ebbing, Missouri in Southern America; home to melancholy, racism and violence. The story centres around Mildred Hayes (Frances McDormand) a weather-beaten, middle-aged mother who is grieving the loss of her teenage daughter who was raped and murdered. Her killer has yet to be found seven months later.

Unsatisfied by the efforts by the local police Mildred takes it upon herself to rent three billboards to name and shame the leading officer Chief Willoughby (Woody Harrelson) and highlight the lack of action taken to solve her daughter’s case. The town is outraged by this act of defamation which was the desired effect Mildred was hoping for. Willoughby with health troubles of his own refuses to be provoked by this act and re-opens the case, however his co-worker Officer Dixon is less obliging.

This film is filled with three dimensional characters that are all flawed in their own way. The racist, incompetent Officer Dixon (Sam Rockwell) who still lives with his mother provides many moments of comic relief and displays both cruelty and compassion and in a surprising turn of events, integrity. Unlikely alliances is a strong theme throughout this film and characters that have gone out of their way to hurt and destroy each other show forgiveness and understanding.

This film will move you, surprise you and make you laugh out loud in inappropriate places .It is also accompanied by a killer soundtrack which displays country music at its finest and demonstrates the true soul, melancholy and painful history of the South. McDormand’s performance as Mildred is outstanding and she demonstrates intelligence, ferocity and strength in this role. This is a subtle, well told story which takes you in and challenges your views on morality.